Do we associate “more” with happiness? This is not a new thought but today it’s tackling a new perspective. I thought about this some time during summer and have written about ‘more’ in terms of the wreck it is for the planet in regards to sustainability. I guess the question really is “happiness is ‘more’ of what?______” To me, the idea of the more the presence of materialistic things in your life is, the happier you’ll be, is merely an illusion. Question 2: if happiness isn’t present, where else would it be?

- note to self: -

“If you are depressed you are living in the past. 
If you are anxious you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

―Lao Tzu

One of the best ways to understand something can be through hearing another perspective, so I asked someone else to explain happiness from their viewpoint. I present to you, a conversion with Darius.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post is opinionated by experts in the psychology of the topic at hand. This is just hearing out someone else’s views on what happiness means to them and how they perceive it. Thank you!!

The significance something holds is so powerful, human nature is to search, to uncover, to find meaning; “there’s a human desire for meaning. That’s where we find happiness. When we find something that truly fulfills us. Something that gives us purpose is what can bring true happiness.” Darius strongly emphasized this as well as the fact that there are people who have very little or nothing and are happy; he also delved into the culturally understood phenomenon: “…people with everything can be miserable.” He urges us to “[start by] differentiating between genuine joy and happiness in life and momentary happiness,” using the example of playing video games as something he found momentary happiness in.

“Look at why you desire these things” - Darius advised doing intrinsic work to understand what you truly gain when you acquire certain things, and how you think you become happy due to the presence of those things. “There’s this habit of connecting things to happiness - be weary of the trap of what that leads to. Materialism is not happiness.” He suggests that tying things to the sensation that comes from being happy would lead to acquiring even more things, “…they’ll then need the next thing to give them happiness.”

In his experience, he’s never been very materialistic except when he was a kid; “(he) was pretty content, had a middle class childhood, but all that crashed with things like my parents’ divorce, insecurities, rough times..” From those experiences, having stability was something he began to crave; wanting genuine things rather than mostly material things. “I grew up Christian and was taught a long time ago that there’s more to life.” He made sure to highlight his gratitude, which increased as he matured: “some people had way less, other counties have people under authoritarian rule, in which they don’t have things like freedom, or even get to choose what they want to do (i.e) get an education, so I try not complain."

Darius encourages all of us to ‘take a risk and observe’ what we actually have and slowly get rid of what we don’t need. He also challenges us to look for a more fulfilling thing, and be more aware/conscious of it.

Thank you, Darius!